Everafter

[Deacon Blues]

> John: Take out the trash.

You deposite the CAKE in the TRASH CAN. Your wallet feels lighter already!

That's a good thing.

> John: Enter door.

You are now in THE GARAGE.

If you owned a car, this is where it would go. But you do not know how to drive.

Instead, you use the space to store items of SENTIMENTAL VALUE, and to keep your WEIRD SCIENCE GIZMOS under wraps. You do not want anyone to see them. What would the neighbors think?

Also, you come here to do laundry.

[Feengoid]

> John: Disarm crappy cruxite dowel fort.
> John: Examine banners.
> John: OK thats enough. Leave.

[GargleGoyle]

> John: Captchalogue bucket for later use.
> John: Fondly regard Tim Allen portrait.

(sick updates deac happy to see that this came back)

[Deacon Blues]

> John: Fondly regard Tim Allen portrait.

You regard it SO fondly. Tim Allen is another of the old world's greatest heroes, and one of its greatest fathers.

Now his visage haunts your garage, like some sort of GHOST DAD.

> John: Captchalogue bucket for later use.

Surely this bucket can be used to boost your PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT! If only there were someone around to prank.

> John: Disarm crappy cruxite dowel fort.

Looks like somebody beat you to it. Maybe a gust of wind blew it over when you had the door open? You don't feel so confident in saying that, though, because you are in charge of that sort of thing.

> John: Examine banners.

You recovered the golden banner from the RUINS OF PROSPIT. It was shredded to tatters by a MEDDLESOME ARCHAGENT some years ago.

==>


Above it is a poster for your old favorite movie. You've moved onto bigger and better films since you were thirteen, but it still holds a special place in your heart.

It's a little dirty

A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES

IT'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT

BUT IT HAS CHARACTER

JUST LIKE YOU

You could make a new one, but you won't. Not ever.

> John: OK that's enough. Leave.

Sure, back into the hallway you go.

You say hello to Matt.

[Feengoid]

> John: Go back to the kitchen.
> John: Call Dave.

[Radical Dude 42]

I can't believe John's subconscious self-hatred is controlling his wind powers and fucking with his fort. Who the hell is Matt?

> John: Proceed right and look for fort destroyer.

[Meatman]

I can't believe John's subconscious self-hatred is controlling his wind powers and fucking with his fort. Who the hell is Matt?

mcconaughey!

John: Leer out the upper window at the neighbours.
John: Go out back and fill the bucket out with pool water.

[Deacon Blues]

> Update again out of guilt.

[Deacon Blues]

John: Leer out the upper window at the neighbours.

Standing on your tippy-toes to reach the window, you scan the neighbors' yard for any sign of movement.

Hmmm... you guess nobody's home. And here you were, thinking your neighbors might've been behind whatever that was in the garage!

> John: Proceed right and look for fort destroyer.

Looks like you'll have to postpone your righteous quest to avenge your epic fort, someone is trying to reach you on the phone.

> John: Answer.

► Show Spoiler

245-2368: hello?
666-3825: HEY ASSHOLE.

> John: Answer.
==>

► Show Spoiler

245-2368: hi karkat!
245-2368: it is great to hear your voice.
666-3825: YES, IT IS ALWAYS GREAT TO HEAR FROM ME IN ANY CAPACITY.
245-2368: ha ha, yeah. although that capacity is usually very loud and screamy.
666-3825: THAT IS A BOLD-FACED LIE. I CONTAIN MULTITUDES OF CAPACITIES, JOHN.
666-3825: BESIDES, THINK OF ALL THE TIME YOU SAVE BY NEVER HAVING TO PUT ME ON SPEAKERPHONE.
245-2368: karkat, i don't know how long you think it takes to press a button on a phone, but it is not a very long time!
666-3825: SECONDS, JOHN. I AM SAVING YOU PRECIOUS SECONDS.
666-3825: BUT ANYWAYS, I DIDN'T CALL YOU TO "SHOOT THE BREEZE" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS.
245-2368: d'awww, karkat are you going to wish me a happy birthday?
666-3825: HELL NO.
666-3825: I'M CALLING BECAUSE I WANT MY FUCKING POSTER BACK.
245-2368: what? you mean the poster for troll hitch?
666-3825: THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S FUCKING CALLED. BUT YES, I WANT YOU TO RETURN CUSTODY OF TROLL HITCH TO HIS RIGHTFUL OWNER: ME.
245-2368: um, i guess i can give it to you? maybe not today though, it's still my birthday.
666-3825: AND?
245-2368: usually on my birthday it's other people who give me the gifts! not the other way around.
666-3825: THEN CONSIDER ME A WRIGGLING DAY PIONEER. NOT TO MENTION I ALREADY GAVE YOU THE BEST GIFT ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR.
245-2368: which is...?
666-3825: THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME, OBVIOUSLY.
245-2368: i guess talking to you is pretty alright.
666-3825: WHEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT, IT MAKES ME THINK THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU.
666-3825: ANYWAYS, IF THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY, I'LL CALL YOU BACK TOMORROW.
245-2368: wait! karkat, i need your advice.
666-3825: SURE, I'M FEELING GENEROUS. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
245-2368: well, i got this letter and i'm not sure if i should open it.
666-3825: WHAT? WHY DO YOU NEED MY ADVICE ABOUT THAT? WAY TO DASH MY HOPES FOR YOU, JOHN.
245-2368: wait, no, there's more!
245-2368: it's just... i'm feeling kind of weird i guess.
245-2368: rose called me earlier saying she couldn't hang out. dave is busy doing something too, i guess.
666-3825: UH HUH. GO ON.
245-2368: well, what if i open this letter and it's another friend telling me they won't have enough time to see me anymore?
666-3825: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY HERE? THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE THE SAME FOREVER? WE'RE ADULTS NOW, AND SOMETIMES ADULTS ARE TOO BUSY TO MAKE TIME FOR THE THINGS THEY CARE ABOUT.
666-3825: FRIENDS STOP SEEING EACH OTHER, LOVERS DRIFT APART, AND SOMETIMES YOU GET BAD NEWS. THAT'S WHAT ADULTHOOD IS, JOHN.
666-3825: IF I WAS YOU, I WOULD STOP DAWDLING AND JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY.
245-2368: uh, thanks, karkat. your pep-talk was helpful, i guess.
666-3825: TOUGH LOVE, ASSHOLE. TOUGH LOVE.
666-3825: OKAY, GOODBYE FOREVER.
245-2368: bye.

> John: Follow tough yet fair advice.


You go to slice open the envelope and... damn! You left your razor in the garbage, stupid! Ew, how are you going to shave your face now, knowing where it's been?

You should probably retrieve your razor so that you can finally read this bad boy.

[ghoul_house]

> Retrieve Razor from Edge
> Update Karkat's contact name in your mind to something inflammatory
> Retrieve Razor from Garbage